One of the hardest things for beginner writers to overcome is making sure that you’re SHOWing your readers a story, not just TELLing them one.
For horror, this is doubly important. No one wants to be told, “You’re scared now.” We want to see things happening on the page that make us wet our pants.
During the last stream, viewer RegulusXI submitted their story to be revised by the Story Surgeon. Their story was a horror mystery about a series of murders where fathers kill everyone in their family.
It certainly caught our interest, but there was something wrong with the way it was written: it read more like an outline than an actual story
We went over a lot during this video, showing techniques for how to show not tell, how to begin a story, and more.
You can see the process we went through here,
and the revised story we edited together!
After that, chat voted that we write these prompts: “Cravings: Write about craving something,” and “Hotel: Write from the perspective of someone who works at a hotel or staying at a hotel.”
Here’s what we came up with:
(Cravings)
So tired that my eyelids are on fire. Everything in front of me is a blur as my fingers flop across the keyboard, every other word summoning a red-squiggly line underneath. The inside of my head is a jigsaw puzzle tossed around with salad tongs, craving sweet unconsciousness to slowly fit them all back together in the morning. Just imagining the warm embrace of the double blankets on top of me, the marshmallows to my stiff graham cracker body, my head soothing into the soft chocolate pillow.
I have to shake my head to erase the image from my mind, briefly bringing the bright screen in front of me back into focus. The cone-shape yearning plunges itself through my back once more and bursts out of my chest, but I have to let it fade away into the air. I wipe my face and sigh. For now, there is work to be done.
(Hotel)
Taking the elevator down from my hotel room, I leaned against the wall for support. I needed it today. Badly. Traveling halfway across the world for one meeting that could change my life for the better. Or for the worse. When we reached the bottom floor and the elevator dinged, my stomach growled perfectly in sync. Crap. I’d been so anxiety-ridden this morning that I’d forgotten to eat anything. Of course.
But then the elevator doors opened up to the most magnificent thing imaginable: the free continental breakfast. Strawberry and lemon danishes lined up like clowns at a circus, ready to entertain my taste buds. A bowl of yogurt singing healthy songs with a box of granola by the side accompanying in a deep baritone. The coffee machine humming a happy tune as its caffeinated aroma filled the room. I took a moment, took a breath, and then took one of each.
Maybe today would be a good day.
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you. We stream on Twitch every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday at 6:30pm-10:30pm (U.S. Eastern Standard Time).
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel, or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Scott Wilson is the author of the novel Metl: The ANGEL Weapon,
forthcoming March 2019.