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Category: Dark Humor

Star-Crossed Stabbing: The Ideal Murder Method for Each Astrological Sign

It’s the big day. Your ex has finally pushed you over the edge, and slicing their tires or filling their Oreos with toothpaste just doesn’t cut it for revenge anymore. You’re ready to go for something a bit more to the point.

But I know what you’re thinking: how can you make that ex of yours go extinct while still charging your power crystals and chakras?

Thankfully, from my years of experience both getting away with serial murders and working as a five-dollar-per-minute phone psychic, I’ve compiled a list of the perfect murder methods for each and every astrological sign.

Whether you’re a spicy scorpio or a vigilant virgo, you’re sure to find a tactic that calls out to you!