Eight seasons lead up to that?! I don’t think so.
A few streams back, Abbey and I ranted about last week’s episode of Game of Thrones. Essentially eight seasons were building up to that climactic moment… and it fell pretty short.
Instead of getting the bitter, unwinnable war we’ve been foreshadowed for years, instead we got Generic Fantasy Battle #842.
But being writers, we can’t just leave it at that. So we came up with 10 other ways the episode could’ve gone, in order of easiest to change to most off-the-wall crazy.
You can watch it here or just scroll down for summaries of the ten points.
#10. Show Me the Consequences
– The episode is the same as it was, but some main characters die
– Grey Worm dies to break the bridge over the trenches, Jamie/Brienne/Sam die in battle, Sansa and/or Tyrion die in the crypts, Jon and/or Daenerys die in battle, SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE.
#9. Crypt Starks Fight for Winterfell
– The crypts were kind of awkward. So much buildup for so much nothing.
– Instead, when the Starks buried in the Winterfell crypts are resurrected, they could have their own magic and are impervious to the Night King’s control, in fact they could fight for Winterfell.
– (Maybe Tyrion sees what’s happening in the crypts, maybe Bran told him as part of their chat the night before, and he tells everyone to help the resurrected corpses get out of their crypts, putting his observation skills to some use.)
– Also maybe there were some Children of the Forest buried in Winterfell’s Godswood, so maybe they’re resurrected too and have their own magic, and they fight against their creation that they made thousands of years ago.
– We were shown that the Night King isn’t hurt by dragon fire, so then why is he hurt by dragon glass? Maybe it’s only magic that can take him down, in the form of the resurrected Stark or Children of the Forest.
#8. Bran Actually Does Something
– This was supposed to be the culmination of Bran’s arc. Instead, he just kind of sat there doing nothing.
– Instead, Bran could put his warging powers to use and summon all of the animals in the North to fight the White Walkers.
– The White Walkers may be able to defeat a few thousand humans, but they’re nothing against all of the wolves, bears, moose, birds and more that come to fight for life.
– This would help play into the theme of the White Walkers being something that humanity cannot defeat on its own.
#7. Arya Takes a White Walker’s face and Infiltrates the Army
– Show Arya using what she’s actually learned instead of just being a Deus ex Machina.
– Instead of having Arya pull a Resident Evil/Metal gear Solid in the library with Wights, have one of the White Walker generals be there.
– She sneaks up on him, kills him, and takes his face (since he was born human, she should be able to).
– She then uses that to infiltrate the Night King’s army and stab him in the back at the last second.
– Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work perfectly with the lore/magic, we don’t know exactly how it works anyway, at least makes it exciting and put what she’s been through to use!
#6. Only Blood Can Pay for Life
– Melisandre/Godswood didn’t really do much this episode.
– So instead, when the Night King and his generals are coming in for Bran, Melisandre tells Gendry/Jaime/Brienne (someone important) that the reason Stannis’s daughter Shireen’s sacrifice didn’t do much is because it was unwilling, a willing sacrifice is much more potent.
– One of them offers themself as a sacrifice, which she uses to light the entire Godswood on fire.
– This fire has magic in it, since its fueled by the magic trees, and hurts the White Walkers, but they can’t escape.
– Bran sits there in his wheelchair, smiling and staring at the Night King, saying that they will burn together, and even though he’s gone, humanity will make a new history.
#5. Spread the Buttery Battles
– Having ALL the wights/walkers tied to the Night King was too easy.
– Instead of having all of the wights under the control of just one Night King, have each general could come in with their own wight army.
– Each general/army could go up against a human army lead by someone: Jon vs. one, Daenerys vs. one, Brienne/Jamie vs. one, Unsullied/Dothraki vs. one.
– Some win, some lose, and then the Night King comes in.
– Could combine this one with #10 (some main characters die) and with any other ending too.
#4. Targaryen Magic
– Jon playing peek a boo with the zombie dragon was weird.
– Instead, maybe Jon could control the dead dragon with his Targaryen blood, have it be stronger than the White Walker’s magic that’s controlling it.
– The zombie dragon can use its blue fire to defeat the Night King (since we saw before that it was impervious to regular fire).
#3. A Truce
– A more realistic outcome.
– The humans realize they cannot win against the White Walkers and ask for a truce.
– To their surprise, the Night King agrees. His goal is to rid Westeros of humans, not necessarily kill them, so if they go into exile to Essos he’s fine with that.
– This would allow us to find out more about who they are, their motivation, etc. Perhaps the Night King could use Bran as an intermediary to conduct the truce agreement, giving him some importance too.
– Conflict arises when Daenerys doesn’t want to go back to Essos, that’s where she came from, she’s here for the throne! She argues with Jon who just wants to do what is necessary to keep his people alive. He asks her what good is sitting on the throne to rule over a bunch of corpses? And he also needs her help, since now HE will be the foreigner in a strange land. Reluctantly she agrees, and they leave together.
– The Night King and his army go to King’s landing, where they easily win. Cersei is alone in her throne room, crying as the dead are pounding on every wall and window. Her children, Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen, are resurrected and are the ones to kill her.
#2. The King in the North
– Just read this here, it’s great: https://twitter.com/AltSchwiftX/status/1123603116727853056
#1. The Night King Wins
– The Night King wins at Winterfell.
– Only Jon and Daenerys escape on their dragons to King’s Landing. There, they tell Cersei what happened. She doesn’t believe them, doesn’t listen, thinks it’s a trap, and throws them both in jail.
– In jail, her scientist Qyburn tells Jon/Daenerys that he believes them (since he’s been studying the wight that they brought for him last season), and he tells them he has an idea about how they could defeat the undead: raesurrecting the buried Targayen dragons in the crypts of King’s Landing back. The only problem is that it will take a lot of Targaryen blood to do that: Jon and Daenerys will both have to sacrifice themselves.
– The dead attack King’s Landing. All seems lost, finally Jon says they should do it, sacrifice themselves to raise the dragons. Daenerys is hesitant but agrees. They go to Qyburn in the crypts, but at the last second Daenerys stabs herself. Jon is horrified, but she says she’s sacrificing herself, AND their unborn child. Two Targaryens for the blood necessary. She’s had experience paying blood for life before. As she dies, Daenerys tells Jon that he wasn’t brought back to life to die again, and that someone needs to ride the dragons into battle.
– She dies, Jon is furious, and he leads the new dragons into battle defeating the Night King and his army. The people cheer for Jon who saved them and Cersei is dethroned.
– Cersei is tried for her crimes and brought out to the same stage that Joffrey had Ned Stark beheaded at. Now Jon is king, and in the same position to kill Cersei, but he stops the executioner. He tells Cersei that her punishment is to live. He sends her into exile, to travel Westeros for the rest of her life, and to see firsthand the horrors that her greed and apathy caused.
– Ends with Jon on the throne, Ned and Daenerys are there with him in spirit as he wonders what to do next.
Be sure to watch the video for more details and discussion on each point!
After that, chat voted that we write a story with this prompt: “A necromancer brings back his dead childhood friend. ALSO, backwards hero’s journey.” Since Abbey was our special guest, we had her write the story.
Here’s what Abbey came up with:
The smoke had finally settled from my battle with Tom, the final boss in my journey to save the tasty kingdom of Pizzalia. His reign of terror in hoarding the kingdom’s stash of specialty tomatoes had to come to an end. People were starving, and the world was bleak and void of the deliciousness of our specialty pizza.
But now my world was void of my best friend.
Even though he was an evil bastard, Tom was my faithful companion for most of our lives. When we were teenagers, we spent many crazy nights sipping the special sauce and tipping the cheese cows.
Those were the days, and they all ended when Tom decided to really mess everything up and hoard all the sauce for himself. Why Tom wanted to take all the sauce, no one knew. But after a ten-year reign of terror and starvation, and adamant refusal to leave his cave, he had to be dealt with. I had to put him down.
But did I really?
As I gazed at his lifeless corpse, I felt a wave of sadness and regret. Perhaps he could have been reasoned with? Everytime someone approached his lair, he would respond with so much bite and anger. But not for me. Never for me. Was that why I was tasked with this adventure to begin with?
Then it hit me like a pizza to the face.
You should never send the kingdom necromancer to do a soldier’s job, and I was so overcome with emotion after our battle that I needed Tom’s warmth and comfort. Perhaps dying for a bit had lessened his unreasonable evil? I had to find out.
I traced the circle of life in the dirt around his lifeless body, and muttered the incantations necessary to raise him. After ten hours of constant chanting, he finally rose from his grave. My heart leaped out my chest as he turned to face me, his face contorted into a confused snarl.
Then he raced toward me, at speeds that I didn’t know he could muster. His body collided onto mine and our figures tumbled into the dusty ground.
That’s when he began licking my face, and I knew that I did the right thing. Tom’s death had been a boon to resetting his evil, tomato-sauce hoarding ways. I could tell by the intensity of his tail wags that he would be willing to return the goods and end the world hunger that he had started.
I grabbed his leash, and attempted to walk off into the sunset, but some reason he resisted and his toasty brown neck rolls were out in full force. What a Shiba.
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
