A grocery list?
Nutrition Facts?!
Let’s write some stories using weird structures for them!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we write stories using unconventional story structures.
We came up with some story premises, then spun the wheel for a story structure to tell it in, getting some interesting matches.
Here’s what we wrote:
Structure: Rejection letter
Prompt: Scott has a mental breakdown after 5 freeshares are all prologues with the same problem
Dear Chat,
I would like to thank you for choosing me to present with your stories that you have clearly spent a lot of time pouring your hearts and souls into. It takes a lot of courage to share your work with anyone, and I think you’re super brave for doing it. Especially when it’s a prologue info dumb laden with adverbs, adjectives, and a pacing faster than a mud-pig in heat.
However, at this time, I am in the market for different genres of fiction besides Sonic feet-fetish streams of consciousness, elaborate Shrek erotic baseball fantasies, and/or isekai stories about guys named Jason.
Please keep in mind that writing is extremely subjective, and even though your project isn’t the right fit for me to look at for more than ten seconds without my brain throwing up in my skull, it might be right up someone else’s alley.
Feel free to submit another story again in the future when you have actually read a book that wasn’t your own. I’m certain that your talent for evoking strong human emotions, and spending 17 years filling a three-ring binder with worldbuilding notes and ideas that go nowhere, will come to fruition eventually. Or not.
Lastly, if you are still for some reason certain that this literary excrement you have produced from your fingers is worth another human being spending the little precious time they have on this planet with, I will be happy to review it again when there are no other works of fiction available anywhere.
Feel free to expose other editors to your exquisitely crafted stories. You deserve someone who is completely passionate about your work. Or at least a fellow degenerate to enjoy your output alongside you.
And remember, definitely… Write On!
Scott
Structure: Dating profile
Prompt: Someone who is addicted to watching daily video logs online realizes they have wasted their life by watching someone else’s.
I’m a guy who’s up for anything! Whether you want to watch some breakfast mukbang vlogs in the morning while chowing down on chocolate oatmeal bars, or have some fun kicking back watching vloggers going hiking in the Rockies, or just a nice night with the two of us watching an IRL streamer dine out at a fancy restaurant. We can do anything, so long as we’re looking out what I like to call “my personal window to life and society.”
I’ve seen the world! I watch variety streamers from Korea, Germany, South Africa, even Tasmania. I win 95% of my Geoguesser matchups, typically in sub five minutes. Think you can take me? Date me instead, haha!
Structure: Amber alert
Prompt: Twitch streamer does more and more extreme things at the request of his chat.
EMERGENCY ALERT
Police: Northeast Los Angeles
Police Contact: Cpt. Charles Rencer
Child: White male, 7 years old, thick build. Originally wearing green Minecraft shirt, last seen at McDonald’s Playplace, may have been changed into shirt displaying face of surprised/excited Asian male with text “PLUCKED POGGERS!” beneath it by kidnapper.
Abductor: 5 feet 10 inches, 29 years old, white male, morbidly obese, dyed purple beard running down to crotch area. Midwestern accent confirmed when screamed “I’m McKidndappin’ ya!” at scene of crime. Sweatpants display text “Sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends” across posterior. No shoes, feet smeared in peanut butter, last heard screaming into phone: “Where’s those bits you bastards?!”
Press MENU to exit
Structure: Nutrition facts
Prompt: A monster who lives in seclusion to avoid hurting people still yearns for love.
Nutrition Facts
6 servings per container
Serving size 1 humanCalories per serving Depends on whether you start chewing from the top or bottom
Total Fat For the l’il porkers, quite a bit, but some of the adults can be pretty stringy
- Saturated Fat Loaded right in the rump
- Trans Fat I don’t discriminate, I love them all
Cholesterol Too much, that’s partly why I’m trying to stop
Sodium Avoid the Twitch streamers
Total Carbohydrates Too many in most of them, makes it too easy to catch them, I gotta resist the temptation of easy meals
Dietary Fiber None! They’ll clog ya up like never before, make me howl in my cave all night until I lick some moss to lube up the old stomach tubes
Total Sugars Small ones are too sweet, rotting my teeth, I’m done with the stuff! And their little hair ties getting stuck in my gums
Protein I can get it from somewhere else. Beans, peas, this weird junk called tofu. Can shape it right into a human and pretend! Still miss the screams though….
***
Vitamin D I usually throw that part away, too flaccid and chewy
Calcium No more bone lickin for me! Got some cows, ready to go. Squeeze em like my heart that time I saw the princess in her garden
Iron Mostly only the ones who come wearing shells made of the stuff. I’ll still make an exception for them
Potassium That princess gave me a, what’s it called, a banana?
Vitamin E Face as bright as sunflowers and hair as red as bell peppers
Folate She told me how she hated broccoli and brussel sprouts but ate em anyway…Niacin …so I can do the same! Making healthy choices even if it’s hard! Meat is important for a healthy diet, but love is more important for a healthy life
***
Ingredients: Positivity in the face of darkness, beautiful sounds inside various organs that can be released through either end, and a fear of being eaten alive that I am ensuring they won’t have to feel anymore. Also natural flavors.
Contains: The potential for forgiveness, I hope?
Manufactured by Love that I Will One Day Find
Warning! Do not eat, no matter how good they smell or how chonky that l’il porker is rolling around your cave entrance. No human tastes better than the love of a princess.
Structure: Fortune cookie messages
Prompt: Person pretends to do a seance just to score a date
Me: The spirits are waiting to guide you to your soulmate.
Me: The brightest rewards lie at the end of the darkest paths.
AlyxVixen: “A showy peacock attracts more love than a silent one”
zWalther: ”If you can’t find love, be aware love it’s lurking behind you.”
thelpr_zura: “Listen to yourself and you will find the one.
cozyrogers: “For the sake of the dead, confide in the living.”
justintoonz: “Your true love is only one grave away”
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Top images: Flickr/Joe Loong