What do you do when you’ve finished writing a book… and it sucks?
That’s what happened to me with my sequel, Metl 2, so let’s discuss what I did to fix it and some strategies you can use too!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we go over how I rewrote my sequel, Metl 2.
Watch what we did here, or scroll down for highlights.
How I Rewrote My Sequel: “Metl 2”
- I finished the first edited draft of my sequel, Metl 2: The Last Wish, in June 2018
- I sent it off to my beta readers, expecting to make a few small changes here and there, and then ship it off to my publisher
- So when I got their feedback that they all found it way too confusing, I was devastated
- In order to make the book publishable, I needed to make a LOT of changes, in fact I had to rewrite about 40% of the book in three months, since that was my deadline
- So today I want to go over what my book looked like before the changes, what changes I made, and how I went about figuring them out
- There are three main groups of changes that I made: simplifying the story, solidifying the theme, and fleshing out the characters, so let’s go through them one by one
Here’s a quick summary of the two books so far:
In the future, all technology/metal is illegal and called Iltech. Caden is an orphan who finds out that he is half-robot half-human. He escapes the orphanage with his friend Annika, defeats some members of the Apostles — a group that works for the Church that uses “ancient” technology and wants to capture Caden — and he saves the world from the giant artificial moon Metl crashing into it. At the end of book one, he leaves to look for his father/creator.
In the sequel, Caden and Annika come to a new town where everyone is forced to dig for Iltech in a massive hole under the watch of a giant lifeless robot. The town is overseen by two Apostles, Simona and Thadi, who force everyone to dig all day every day. Holly is a girl there who wants “King Caden” to save her town, but Caden just wants to find his father.
#1. Simplifying the Story
- In the first draft, the biggest factor contributing to confusion was the fact that both Sparrows AND Ants lived in the town
- (Sparrows are the religious sect in this book, Ants were the sect from the 1st book.)
- Not only that, but instead of six virtues like the Ants have, the Sparrows only had five, since they didn’t believe in “creating” things, which was why they were digging in the Hole to find old things and lived in old houses that had already been “created”
- (Originally they were called Starfish for five virtues, then Frogs, then Sparrows)
- There was a conflict between the Ants and Sparrows, since the town was originally founded by Sparrows to mine for holy relics, then Ants showed up to “create” things for them since they were forbidden to do that, but then the Sparrows grew jealous of the Ants growing rich off them and revolted against them, now forcing the Ants to dig in the Hole instead
- Holly was also a half-Ant half-Sparrow who had to be hidden because of the forbidden love between her parents, and Simona was an Ant and Thadi was a Sparrow who pretended to be sisters instead of a couple
As you can see, it was WAY too complicated,
- Even now it’s hard for me to remember the details, and the beta readers would often confuse who was a Sparrow/Ant and which sect was in power
- So I made a chart of the pros and cons of having one sect or two sects in the town: the only benefit of having two sects was more conflict, but the story already had conflict with the town being forced to dig
- I cut the Ants, made everyone Sparrows, and suddenly the ripple effects were huge:
- I needed a new bad guy, since the Sparrows weren’t forcing the Ants to dig
- I needed a new backstory for Simona/Thadi since they were now the same sect
- I needed a new backstory for Holly/her parents since there was no forbidden love
- The next step helped bring all of those together
In summary: It might seem like you’re losing big parts of your story when you cut/simplify, but you’re not. You’re just cutting away the fat that’s getting IN THE WAY of your story. If there are parts of your story that are confusing to readers, don’t be scared, revise them!
#2. Solidifying the Theme
It was at this point that I realized the theme of the story was not what I wanted it to be, I wanted to write a story about the danger of overwork (taking the second Virtue to an extreme), and instead I’d written a story about the danger of prejudice
So I worked through the ripple effects of the previous step one by one and changed them:
- For the new bad guy, instead of the Ants, I went with the Church, since they were the bad guys from the 1st book and could easily work well again here
- I changed it so that the Sparrows had always dug the Hole, in order to find the pieces to put the robot back together, but it used to be voluntary
- When the sparrows found all the pieces and put the robot together, they decided to stop digging, but then the giant robot came to life, attacked the town, and forced them all to dig harder than ever before, which then flowed into…
- The new backstory for Simona/Thadi, which was no longer forbidden love, but working vs. nonworking class
- Teenage Simona was rich and Thadi was poor, so Thadi was jealous and hated her, until they reconcile at a festival where the robot is put back together
- (This was inspired by me going out to a Japanese festival while I was stressing about how to rewrite, so always take breaks and try new things!)
- But then the giant robot attacked, and instead of the big revelation in the flashback being that Simona/Thadi were lovers, the revelation instead is that Simona is the one who stopped the robot from attacking by promising it that the town would work harder digging than ever before in exchange for safety, which then flowed into…
- The new backstory for Holly/her parents, which was also no longer forbidden love, but the start of the anti-Church rebellion
- I changed it so that Holly’s parents weren’t forbidden from meeting because they were from different sects, but instead because they were trying to start a rebellion against the Church
- This changed flowed nicely with the previous change, since the revelation in Holly’s parents’ flashback is that Simona destroyed their home, killed Holly’s dad, and maimed her mother, all to try and keep the town “safe” from the robot by having everyone work all the time
All of these changes toned down the theme of “prejudice” and juiced up the theme of “overwork.”
The next step was the final bit of glue to bring them all together
In summary: It’s important to step back and look at what you’re SAYING with your book. You might think the theme is obvious, but you’re so entrenched in it that it might not actually be that clear. Ask beta readers what they think, and if they give you wildly different answers, it’s time to revise!
#3. Fleshing out the Characters
- This story brought with it two new characters who still didn’t feel whole: Holly and Barron
- Sure, Holly had a tragic backstory, but who WAS she?
- Barron was the scientist held hostage by Simona/Thadi who has a connection to Caden’s father, but other than that he had no connection to the story and felt out of place
- For Holly, the answer came by asking WHAT does she want: she wants to discover the history of their world, and find out what really happened during the Iltech Apocalypse
- And the reason she wants to do that is because it’s the same goal her mom had before she was maimed, which led to her mom having that goal because of the books she read and the information she found out that made her question things…
- …which led into even more things coming together: Holly’s mom/dad owned a book store which was burned down by Simona/Thadi, which is why Holly freaks out and turns in Caden/Annika when she sees the bakery burned down, which is why she desperately wants to find a way to save her town without anyone getting hurt at first
- Holly transformed from someone who did things because the plot needed her to, into a traumatized girl who overcomes her oppressors and wants to carry on her family’s legacy
- For Barron, the answer came with asking WHO is rebelling against the Church: it’s another group, the Reactors
- The Reactors had a small role in the first draft, but I expanded it when I realized that Barron could be one of the leaders of the Reactors, and they were trying to rescue him from his imprisonment in the town
- This made Barron’s presence fit more smoothly in the story, gave the Reactors a reason to be in the town besides just “being the good guys,” and heightened his authority/presence as a character
- Barron transformed from someone who was just there because the plot needed him, into a powerful and mysterious leader
These changes took Holly/Barron from being one-dimensional characters to multi-dimensional, turning them into people rather than plot devices
Even though I felt the characters’ motivations made sense in the first draft, I was wrong, and it wasn’t until readers pointed it out to me that I could see it
In summary: Just having a character in the story doesn’t mean they belong in it. A good character will be integral to the story, do things/make decisions that make sense for them, and most importantly, feel unique/real. If a character in your story doesn’t have all three of those, then revise!
TL;DR
- Overall, I had to rewrite 40% of my book over three months because it was too confusing
- I did it by simplifying the story, solidifying the theme, and fleshing out the characters, then massaging the ripple effects from each of the changes
- It might not look hard when it’s all spelled out here, but every single small change was the result of several brainstorming sessions, pros/cons charts, and screaming into pillows
- It’s really incredible how so many of the changes clicked together so well, as if they’d been planned that way from the beginning, but they weren’t at all…
- …so don’t be afraid to make revisions to your own story! Yes, it will be a lot of work, but the final product will be worth it
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso