Writing a good dating profile is a lot like writing a good story.
Let’s go over the 5 elements to keep in mind, then practice writing some dating profiles together!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we go over how to write a dating profile.
You can watch the video here to or scroll down for notes/highlights.
How to Write a Dating Profile
- Writing your dating profile is a lot like writing a story: you have to hook the reader, keep them interested, then finish with something that makes them want more
- Even though there are a lot of different dating sites out there, the same general elements apply no matter which one you’re writing a profile for
- Those elements are the five S’s: specific, spectrum, silly, sincere, and short
#1. SPECIFIC
- When you write a story, you’re not writing for everyone in the world, you’re writing for a specific audience: teenage girls, adult fantasy fans, middle grade adventurers
- The same thing goes for writing a dating profile: you’re not looking to attract everyone, you’re looking to attract a certain type of person, so be specific not general in describing yourself
- Avoid cliches likes, such as travel, relaxing, music, movies, having out with friends… what specifically do you like to do?
Example: I just came back from a trip to Iceland AND got to watch the Avengers movie for the eighth time on the flight home. Is it bad that I’m not sure which I liked more? I should probably do both again, just to make sure. Come with me and we can gorge ourselves on Rúgbrauð and Hrútspungar!
- Just from reading that, we can see that the person likes traveling, superhero films, food, and language through the specifics they use.
- We also get a glimpse into their fun/spontaneous personality, and they give a lot of potential conversation starters, like what the heck are Rúgbrauð and Hrútspungar???
#2. SPECTRUM
- It’s important to show the full spectrum of who you are, not just concentrating on one or two personality aspects/traits only
- For example, my wife is outgoing and I’m an introvert, and we would’ve probably never matched online. But if she’d put her love of Pokemon on her profile, and I’d made my profile funny, we probably would’ve matched
Example: This weekend I’m going surfing at Morro Bay and getting ice cream at Ray’s Clam Shack afterward. Do you want moose tracks, mint chocolate chip, or caramel? I’m getting all three! Also, you better be prepared, because I’m coming for you in Smash Bros. that night (Fox, Final Destination, no items obv)
- This person shows off a wide spectrum of interests: surfing, ice cream, and video games. As long as all of them are equally important to them, this lets them stay open to many different potential partners
#3. SILLY
- Nobody wants to read a super serious story: even Game of Thrones starts with pee and boob jokes on page one
- You don’t have to be a comedian, but at least stay positive, and avoid heavy topics like exes or surgery
Example: If you’ve ever accidentally eaten an entire jar of peanut butter with a spoon, then we have at least one thing in common already. I love my job teaching English at Burton High, spoiling my niece, and binging documentaries on Netflix — the weirder the better. Send me a message and let me know if you prefer chunky or smooth 🙂
- This profile starts with a funny line, and ends with one too, while slipping in some valuable information in the middle. You would never guess that this person was twice divorced, would you?
#4. SINCERE
- White lies are at best going to match you up with people you don’t want to match up with, and at worst get you in trouble down the road, so avoid them
- Be yourself in your profile, and be honest in what kind of relationship you’re looking for: there’s no point in saying you’re open to flings if you’re looking for something serious
- Try to sprinkle in some conversation starters too, things that you’re genuinely interested to hear about from other people
Example: I love riding around on my motorcycle, checking out every pizza restaurant in Denver, and curling up under the covers with my Nintendo Switch. I’m currently playing Animal Crossing and looking forward to… um, excuse me 2020? Are there ANY good games coming out this year?? Let me know what you’re playing and what you’re looking forward to!
- This profile shows off their personality and asks an honest question as well. Don’t ask potential partners what the craziest place they’ve traveled to is, or what their favorite book is if you don’t care about the answer.
#5. SHORT
- Profile length varies from site to site, but on average the shorter ones are more effective, so look around at the profile length of other users and make yours similar to ones that catch your eye
- Don’t feel the need to put everything about you in one single profile, just stick to 3-5 specifics
- Show the things you can’t tell: if you’re funny, don’t bother saying it, show it
Example: Why I’m like an owl and why that’s awesome
– I am fluffy and warm and have big eyes only for you
– I’m very adept at catching tasty food and am willing to share
– I can rotate my head 360 degrees
– Okay that last one’s not true, but send me a message and my head will spin 😉
- This profile says a lot about the person without them actually telling us: they’re creative, funny, like animals, caring/sensitive, and more all in a very short package
BAD EXAMPLE
Hi I’m Jeff. I just got out of a serious 4 year relationship and I’m hoping to find someone new. I’ve never been to a club or anything before, but I’m willing to try! Mostly I enjoy relaxing with friends and hanging out, listening to music, or watching movies. I work as the claims dept. manager at Tronco Auto Insurance, what’s the worst accident you’ve ever been in? Haha. Anyway, I don’t really know what else to write here, so I’m just gonna peace out. Unlike you, hopefully.
- Even though this example doesn’t seem outlandishly bad, it fails in all five S’s: it’s not specific, it doesn’t show the person’s spectrum, it’s not silly, it’s not sincere, and it’s not short.
MY DATING PROFILE
I live in Japan, and my favorite food here is… Shakey’s Pizza! Working as a translator makes you hungry, and I’d love to show you the best restaurant that no one knows about. After that, we can battle in Magic the Gathering and discuss the hierarchy of the Harry Potter books. Which one was your favorite, and why was it Goblet of Fire?
ABBEY’S DATING PROFILE
Abbey here! Have you ever traveled abroad? That’s great! If you enjoy Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Japanese culture and food, visiting historic places, and wandering around in nature, you should book your flight straight to my heart right away! Seat availability is limited to one person, on a first-come, first-served basis. No refunds!
Be sure to check out the video for some more examples of great dating profiles that chat helped make!
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso