If you’re like me, you’ve watched your significant other play Animal Crossing: New Horizons for an unreasonable number of hours. And if you’re like me, you may have noticed that some things about the game feel a bit… strange.
In an attempt to explain the bizarre occurrences that happen time and time again in this game, I would like to propose a simple theory that glues all of its quirks and eccentricities together.
The theory is this: your character in Animal Crossing is a powerful god who is being sealed away on the island, to prevent them from wreaking havoc on the rest of the world.
Sounds too far fetched? Let’s go over the evidence.
#1. Your Character’s Powers
In Animal Crossing, your character constantly defies the laws of physics and thermodynamics, the two rules of the universe that as far as we know can never be broken.
Your character can catch a massive oarfish… and yet they just stuff it into their pocket with a smile. Your character can make cliffs and waterfalls out of nothing. Not to mention doing it all in mere seconds flat. No big deal for a god.
Just watch this video where the character casually phases the
net through a penguin to catch a bug. Absolutely terrifying.
DAFUK??????
Posted by Abigail Wilson on Saturday, May 2, 2020
Now you might be thinking, But that’s how it is in plenty of games! Sure, but in other, similar games like Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley, there’s something your character needs to survive: sleep.
In Animal Crossing, your character never needs to rest. This is despite the fact that the other islanders sleep, and you can even lie down in your bed. In Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley,: your character has to replenish their energy by sleeping in those games. But in Animal Crossing, your god-character has no need for such mortal weakness.
#2. Mind-Numbing Tasks
The first thing you notice about Animal Crossing is that there is no end goal in sight. Aside from a few minor things like getting KK to visit your island or pay off your house loan, there is no “win” or “lose” in the game. Instead, you’re given an infinite series of mindless tasks to accomplish: complete Nook Miles, hit rocks, shake trees, go fishing, repeat, repeat, repeat.
There’s always something to do, and that’s because the islanders want to keep you here forever. It’s far better to keep a potentially disastrous god occupied with menial tasks than locking them away in a prison, where their anger could cause them to erupt out of their confines.
And that’s why in Animal Crossing you can’t play tennis on a tennis court, or cook anything on a stove, or play a game of chess — all the items are fake, facsimiles of the real thing, merely there to keep you occupied, and keep the villagers safe. They don’t want you to have a real stove that could burn things down any more than they want you to have access to your full powers.
Finally, isn’t it strange that your character repeats the exact same phrase every time they accomplish something? “I caught a sea bass! No wait — it’s at least a C+!” It’s funny the first fifty times, but then kind of weird afterward. The only thing that makes sense is your character is brainwashed to repeat the same phrase over and over again, like they’re part of a cult they can never escape from — yet another part of the villagers imprisoning the god on the island.
At first, the animals probably attempted to kill or seal the gods in solitary confinement, but that didn’t work. They found it easier to pacify the gods by keeping them occupied with mindless, repetitive lives, like the machines dealing with humans in The Matrix.
#3. Travel Tribulations
But wait, you might say. If you’re imprisoned on the island, then why can you travel to other islands?
The answer is because a little freedom goes a long way toward satisfied prisoners. You can only go to a few select areas, and even then it is a long, arduous process, very dissimilar to other games where teaming up with a friend is instantaneous.
Also, notice how Dodo, the head of the “god-prison airport” sweats like crazy when he’s typing away at his computer to set you up for travel. He’s doing that because he’s nervous. If he messes up and sends you somewhere he shouldn’t, or if someone comes to this island who shouldn’t, they could all be dead immediately, and it will be on his conscience.
There’s a reason the Dodos destroy the flight plans to the islands after you return. They don’t want you going anywhere unless it’s been done officially and carefully through them.
#4. Animal Interactions
Isn’t it strange how all the animals in the game speak out loud, yet when your character speaks, they convey their thoughts silently? Either you speak a different language from the animals, or you can communicate telepathically, since gods have no need for mere words.
You’re also incapable of emotions by yourself, until you’re taught them by the villagers. Perhaps this shows that your time in prison here is being put to good use, to reform you into a benevolent god, one capable of empathy.
It’s also important to note that the town hall is always open as long as you’re on the island, despite the fact that Nook’s Cranny and the Able Sisters close for the day at night. The reason for this is obvious: Tom Nook and Isabelle need to keep an eye on you in case of an emergency.
That’s also why Isabelle looks surprised every time you turn on the game: she was enjoying her time off from her deity-duties, but now you’re back, and she has to pretend to be your best friend. A lot of the villagers do say that “Isabelle is the one who holds the island together.”
Also, is it a coincidence that Tom Nook is a tanuki, a powerful shapeshifting creature, and Isabelle is a dog, a symbolic guardian? I don’t think so.
Finally, the most obvious clue: you are the only human in this world. Everyone else is an animal. Why is that? Because in this world, humans do not exist. Animals populate the planet, and human-shaped gods ruled over them… until the war happened.
#5. The History of the Lore
So now the question is, how did the world of Animal Crossing get to this point? In the past, the human-gods must have ruled horribly over the animals, until the animals found a way to fight back.
The question is: what method did the animals use to fight against the human-gods? Perhaps initially they used creatures like wasps and scorpions to make the gods pass out, but that was only a temporary reprieve. Instead, they needed something else to truly trap the human-gods.
Water.
The island is surrounded by water and has tons of ponds and rivers running through it, yet you cannot interact with it directly. You can only fish in it, jump over it, and press yourself directly against it until you’re repelled like a force field.
You’d think there’d be some swimming, or surfing, or tubing, but there is none. Your character doesn’t even drink water, despite the fact that they can eat food. Simply put, water is not only not necessary for the human-god’s survival, it is like a repellent force to them.
Wherever the human-gods originated from, a different planet or dimension perhaps, water was as much a poison to them as the flower Lily of the Valley is for us.
…wait a minute.
Lily of the Valley is the prize you get when your island receives five stars. It’s not a prize, it’s a warning. You’re getting too powerful, hold back a bit, or else Isabelle will have to call in a flood to wash everything anew again.
