When writing a story, sometimes you need to zoom in on important things. You need to paint a specific image of an object in the reader’s mind. But other times you need to zoom out, not wasting time describing something specifically when there’s other, important stuff going on.
Part of writing a good story is knowing when to zoom in and out, and also how to zoom in and out. Thankfully there’s an easy way to remember with the five levels of description.
During the last stream, I had chat give suggestions for something we would describe in each of the five levels of description. In the end they voted for “an old, rusty skeleton key.”
Here’s what we came up with, going deeper with the description of the key at every level.
1) Surface level (Just mentioning something in passing)
There was an old, rusted skeleton key on the table.
2) Detailed level (To give a clearer picture of something, or set the scene/tone)
There was a rusted skeleton key lying on the table. It was covered in a thick layer of dust, and the orange-speckled rust had stained the table underneath it. It obviously hadn’t been touched in years.
3) Very detailed level (To show that something is VERY important, give the reader a specific image)
There was a rusted skeleton key lying on the table. It was covered in a thick layer of dust, but its brass shone as bright as if it had just been polished. The head of the key was molded in ornate curves, like a metal flower had bloomed on the end. The tooth on its other end was long and wide. It looked more like a medieval crest banner than something that could unlock a door.
4) Super detailed level (To show that something is SUPER important, give the reader a specific image/emotion)
There was a rusted skeleton key lying on the table. It was covered in a thick layer of dust, but its brass body shone as bright as if it had just been polished. The light from the window reflected off it in such a way that it sparkled, beckoning me over to it.
Drawn toward the key, I picked it up and examined it, brushing away the cobwebs as I brought it close. The head was large and molded in ornate curves, like a metal flower had bloomed on the end. Its tooth was long and wide, more like a medieval crest banner than something that could unlock a door.
The key itself was smooth and cold, as if it was the corpse of a key that had once been alive long ago. Its spiral head flowed and circled hypnotically, and its tooth was sharp against my thumb as I rubbed it. It almost felt as if it were trying to unlock its way inside of me, inside of my flesh.
5) Insane detailed level (When the object basically becomes the story)
There was a rusted skeleton key lying on the table. It was covered in a layer of dust so thick I could taste it in my mouth like I’d swallowed a cupful of mothballs. Despite that, its brass body shone bright underneath as if it had just been polished. The light from the window reflected off it, making it sparkle, playing music in the air with its metallic tones, beckoning me over to it.
Drawn toward the key, I picked it up and examined it, brushing away the sticky cobwebs and scuttling spiders as I brought it close. The head was nearly half the size of the key itself, molded in ornate curves like a metal flower had bloomed on the end. It even had a sort of sweet, iron smell to it, something that steel bees would love to pollinate in, I’m sure.
The tooth of the key was long and wide, hanging down from the end like an intricate medieval crest banner. Tiny crosses were perfectly carved into it; I could almost taste the sweaty concentration that the metalsmith had put into getting every single millimeter correct. It was so light in my hands, it felt like it would snap in half if I dared insert it into a door.
I closed my eyes and gripped the key, smooth and cold in my palm. It send a chill through my arm, as if I was holding the corpse of a key that had breathed it’s last long ago. The curves of its spiral head chilling their way into my skin, hypnotizing me from my fingers to my wrist to my elbow to my mind. The sharp tooth at the end rubbed against my thumb, threatening to slice my skin open.
In that moment, I wanted nothing more. I wanted the key to unlock me, to pierce my flesh and open up everything that I’d had hidden inside.
As you can see, each level gets longer and longer as we spend more time with the key. We start using more and more senses, and by level four, we’ve hopefully given the reader more than just an object, we’ve given them a feeling.
However, each level isn’t necessarily distinguished by its length or number of senses used. What distinguishes them is how specific an image you’re giving your reader. At levels 1/2 the reader imagines most of it, at levels 3/4 you’re giving the reader most of it, and at level 5 the image essentially becomes the story.
Knowing when to use each level of description can be difficult, but using them correctly can help make your stories more visual, better paced, and more satisfying to read.
You can watch a quick recap of our description exercise here.
After that exercise chat voted we write this prompt by gameon123321: The tome said to use blood. You used pig blood. Now a demonic pig is staring at you.
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you. We stream on Twitch every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday at 7:30pm-10:30pm (U.S. Eastern Standard Time).
And you missed the stream, you can still watch Rubbish to Published, the writing exercises, or the writing prompts on YouTube, or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Scott Wilson is the author of the novel Metl: The ANGEL Weapon,
forthcoming November 2018.
Featured image: GAHAG