For the last stream’s exercise, we tried a spin on something we’ve done before: editing a viewer’s story.
The previous times we’ve done this, we usually only edited the first few paragraphs. But this time, the story was short enough for us to edit the entire thing, start to finish.
The lucky victim, er, viewer was geibielle, who was kind enough to let us edit their story. Huge thanks to them!
Here’s what their story looked like before and after:
For the last stream’s exercise, we did something we’ve done before: edit the beginning of a viewer’s story.
FateOfSilver was generous enough to allow us to use their story for the exercise. But this time, rather than completely rewrite what they had written, we instead focused on doing more detail-oriented editing. FateOfSilver had crafted a nice opening, but it was a little too fast and was missing out on some juicy specifics.
So we employed a tactic that I wrote about nearly two years ago: cracking open scenes with the Hammer of Details.
Take a look at the original and our rewrites below.
For the last stream, we did something that we haven’t done in a while: rewriting the beginning to a viewer’s story.
When MetaWarrior shared their piece during the freeshare part of the previous stream, I thought it would be a perfect candidate for a writing makeover. It had potential, but it was a little vague and bland at the beginning. So we decided to rewrite it and spice it up!
To do this, we made sure to set the scene and tone right from the start, and to give the reader the who/what/when/where/hook as soon as possible. That way they could visualize what was going on, and want to continue reading.
Here’s what we came up with:
Today we started off the stream by doing something I’d been wanting to try for a while: re-writing a viewer-submitted story.
During out last stream, viewer QueenLavana submitted a story during freeshare that I thought would be an excellent candidate. It had potential, but the beginning was getting bogged down by backstory, was too quick in places, and left the reader not knowing what to feel. After getting their permission, we re-wrote the beginning during the exercise portion of the stream.
We made sure to pay attention to three things while re-writing: (1) giving the reader the who/what/when/where/why so that they can visualize and understand what’s going on, (2) showing the reader how how to feel by setting the tone, and (3) not being afraid to take it a little slow and set the scene.
Here’s what we came up with:
