How do you describe an injury so that the reader can see it, smell it, feel it?
Let’s look at some examples then write some gruesome descriptions together!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we write some descriptions of gruesome injuries
Watch a short version of the stream here or scroll down for what we wrote.
Describing injuries is tough: you need to make sure to not only evoke the imagery of the wound, but the feeling of it too, plus you can’t go too overboard or else the description will get confusing/silly
So let’s practice it together! But first, some examples:
Hunger Games: “I can see the tear Cato’s sword made in the fabric over his thigh, but it in no way prepares me for what lies underneath. The deep inflamed gash oozing both blood and pus. The swelling of the leg. And worst of all, the smell of festering flesh. … Within minutes of pressing the handful of chewed-up green stuff into the wound, pus begins running down the side of his leg.”
Game of Thrones: “He began to scrape away the black leaves and dried blue mud from Drogo’s chest. A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her. The leaves were crusted with blood and pus, Drogo’s breast black and glistening with corruption. Black blood ran slow and thick from his open wound.”
- Note how each description uses more than one sense to really make it evocative for the reader
- The use of words like “oozing” and “crusted” that aren’t usually used with human body vocabulary also amp up the gross levels
- Takeaway: Use more than 1 sense, use gross/unnatural vocabulary!
After that, chat came up with a bunch of gruesome injuries, then voted on the ones they liked best for us to describe.
First up, (the aftermath of) being mauled by a bear/lion/large animal.
Here’s what we wrote:
The woman lay on the forest floor after the bear attack, unfortunately still breathing. The skin of her face had been peeled upward, now a flat, bloody sheet of stringed flesh dangling back over her forehead, flapping with her labored breaths. The putrid stench of exposed meat had already summoned a horde of buzzing flies, burrowing under the skin every time it rose and fell with another wet, squelching flop.
COZYROGERS
Tommy had a threefold gash across his face, each gap wide enough to accommodate a dime lengthwise. Gnarled crevasses with dark walls and bone-white depths, where the beast’s claws had scraped the flesh away, exposing his bare skull. Out gushed a waterfall of blood, coating the man’s formerly handsome face in a crimson mask as he groaned weakly for his mother.JOE
The lady sat in the dirt. She had no nose, no lips, no cheeks. Not much of a face anymore. Her mangled flesh barely clung to her exposed skull. Globs of dark blood throbbed, the remaining veins still pumping what they could. One brown eye among flaps of skin. That was the only recognizable part of her.
Next was acid burns on the face.
Here’s what we wrote:
Her face dripped downward, as if made of putty, flowing into a discolored pool of flesh that had once been her neck. The weight of it dragged down all of her features, pulling her ears, eyes, and mouth into long gaping holes. A sharp, acidic smell still permeated from her skin. No matter how hard anyone scrubbed. Only a faint gurgle escaped from her mouth, unable to ever close again.
JUSTINTOONZ
Her face was a bulbous, raw chicken breast covered in red and pink scabs of dry, crusted flesh.COZYROGERS
You think that’s a burn? Buddy, you’ve never seen a burn before. Remember those acid attacks a dozen years back? Well, I worked in emergency response and… tell you what. Take a look in that mirror. Yeah, that one right there. What do you see? You see a face, right? Good. Now, replace that face with a scab. Just a giant scab. Boiling, bubbling, popping at first, and then… it all… melts together. Smooths out. Like a sheet of glass. And then? It rots. And – if you’re lucky – it all… falls… off.
And last, a disease that eats away flesh from the bone.
Here’s what we wrote:
His foot looked like it was covered in a thick layer of raw ground beef. Red and orange meat spaghetti with chunky yellowed bits poking out, reeking of old piss and puss. Most terrifying was the healthy skin around it — the plump toes and ankle and shin — like untouched trees waiting for the forest fire to take them too. It was only a matter of time until his entire leg was nothing more than a rancid skin sack brimming with bacterial broth.
Be sure to check out the video for some dramatic readings!
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Images: Pexels