What are “flaccid verbs” and why do they make your writing feel limp?
Let’s discuss and then erect some new sentences together!
During the last stream, the subscribers voted that we go over “flaccid verbs.”
You can watch the full video here to or scroll down for notes/highlights.
What Are “Flaccid Verbs” And Why They’re Bad
- Not all verbs are created equal!
- There are action verbs that show movement in fun, vivid, and subtly-different ways like: dash vs. surge vs. stride vs. saunter vs. tip-toe vs. shuffle vs. hobble vs. wobble, etc.
- There are also helping verbs that mostly provide grammatical functions like: is, have, do, must, can, would, etc.
Flaccid Verbs
- And then there are verbs between the two, verbs that are action verbs but are not fun/vivid, which I like to call “flaccid verbs”
- Some examples are: make, cause, send, give, get, take, move, put, bring, etc.
- They’re flaccid because they’re weak, generic, don’t paint a specific image in the reader’s mind
Example
- To see why they’re flaccid, look at this sentence:
- “I sent a fist into Bob’s face, making him fall to the floor, but then he gave me a smile, which caused me to wonder what was going on.”
- Now take a look at this sentence with the flaccid verbs changed:
- “My fist collided with Bob’s face and he crashed to the floor, but then he smiled up at me and I knew something was wrong.”
- The second version is shorter, more vivid, and more interesting to read without the flaccid verbs
- Sometimes flaccid verbs are fine, but whenever you see them in your writing, ask yourself if they’re necessary or if there’s a more interesting verb/phrasing you can use
After that, together with chat we practiced transforming some flaccid sentences into firmer ones:
#1. Flaccid: The sudden sound from the kitchen caused me to look.
- My head snapped up at the sudden clattering from the kitchen.
- The sudden clamor from the kitchen yanked my attention away from my book in bed.
- Something metallic clanged to the floor in the kitchen. The sharp noise pierced through the dark hallway, right into my bedroom. Suddenly cold under the warm covers of my bed, alone, I closed my book and prepared to investigate.
#2. Flaccid: He moved from one side of the room to the other.
- He blitzed across the room.
- He dragged himself across the ground, streaking his crimson on the cement.
- A splinter pierced his bare foot, and in an attempt not to wake anyone, he silently pogo-danced back to his room.
- A sharp pang stabbed my stomach. I leaped from my bed and dashed across the room, hurrying toward the door that would provide my salvation by way of porcelain throne. I didn’t make it in time.
#3. Samantha put her wedding ring on the table.
- Samantha flung her wedding ring, it hit the table before rolling across the floor. “I’m leaving you Johnathan! This was the last straw.” She marched out the front door, slamming it behind her.
- Samantha slammed the wedding band on the table, knocking over chocolate lava cake. She cursed him and his cheap ass ring and stormed out of Denny’s.
- Samantha held her breath and glanced at her cards. The pot of chips and money in the middle of the table called to her like a siren at sea. The moment was here. Would she meet, or fold? She didn’t have anything else to ante up. Except… With a sly smile, she twisted her wedding ring off her finger and tossed it into the center of the table. “Meet.”
- Samantha slid the wedding band across the glass display. Anxiety gripped her as the cashier examined it with magnifier. “Whatever you can give me, I’ll take,” she said. “These bills ain’t cheap.”
#4. Nothing brings joy quite like cooking.
- My mouth salivates at the mere thought of hickory goodness grilling on the barbecue.
- The lobster meat soaked in garlic and herb butter grabbed my nose hard and reeled me to the picnic table like the most helpless fish.
- Love infuses every grain of hand-made bead, baked with joy and passion that you can taste in every bite.
- The heat from the oven blasted out all stray thoughts, leaving nothing behind but the pleasure of cooking. My hands sunk into the flour, the tactile pleasure of forming the dough massaging my thoughts into the simple feeling of joy.
- Every time I fire up the grill, something ignites inside me too. Especially when what’s going on the flames isn’t burgers or dogs… but evidence.
- I switched on the mixer, and my heart stirred with the whir of the blades. The ingredients swirled into a batter of sugary goodness. I breathed deep: sweetness wafted into the air, and my head spun like cotton candy at a fair. I couldn’t help it—I stole the bowl away from the mixer, plunged my spoon in, and gobbled down bite after bite of delicious chocolate chip cookie dough. It’s too bad that these cookies would never make it to the oven.
Be sure to check out the video for more!
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso