Having your main character describe themself can feel strange, but it doesn’t have to.
Let’s discuss 4 ways to do it, then write our own together!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we go over how to not awkwardly describe your main character’s appearance.
You can watch the full video here to or scroll down for notes/highlights.
How to NOT Awkwardly Describe Your Main Character
- At some point in your story, you need to describe what your main character physically looks like
- This can be hard to do, since most stories are told from the main character’s POV, and it’s awkward for them to just randomly describe themself, especially in 1st person
- But! There are some tricks you can use, so let’s go over 4 ways to describe your main character
#1. Just outright saying what the character looks like
Example: Pachinko by Min Jin Lee
Hoonie was born with a cleft palate and a twisted foot; he was, however, endowed with hefty shoulders, a squat build, and a golden complexion. Even as a young man, he retained the mild, thoughtful temperament he’d had as a child. When Hoonie covered his misshapen mouth with his hands, something he did out of habit meeting strangers, he resembled his nice-looking father, both having the same large, smiling eyes. Inky eyebrows graced his broad forehead, perpetually tanned from outdoor work.
(A few pages later)
Sunja was crawling on her knees finishing up the hallway connecting the front room with the rest of the house. The girl had a firm body like a pale block of wood — much in the shape of her mother — with great strength in her dexterous hands, well-muscled arms, and powerful legs. Her short, wide frame was thick, built for hard work, with little delicacy in her face or limbs, but she was quite appealing physically — more handsome than pretty. Her dark eyes glittered like shiny river stones set in a polished white surface, and when she laughed, you couldn’t help but join her.
- The most straightforward and least subtle way of describing a character
- Good for painting a specific picture and when you don’t mind it sticking out to the reader
- The best way to do it is to focus on a few features and describe them in fun/unique ways
- “Inky eyebrows graced his broad forehead, perpetually tanned from outdoor work.”
- “Her dark eyes glittered like shiny river stones set in a polished white surface.”
- This kind of description ONLY works in 3rd person, in 1st person it would be too awkward
- No: “My inky eyebrows grace my broad forehead…”
- No: “My dark eyes glitter like shiny river stones set in a polished white surface.”
#2. Describe the character in relation to something
Example: Harry Potter by JK Rowling
Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley’s, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.
- Less straightforward and more subtle than outright describing the character
- Limits what you can describe, but flows with the story more
- Kills two birds with one stone: describes the character AND their world/life
- “He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.”
- This kind of description can sometimes work in 1st person
– Yes: “Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but I’ve always been small and skinny for my age.”
– No: “I had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes.”
#3. The character describes themself in relation to something
Example: Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I watch as Gale pulls out his knife and slices the bread. He could be my brother. Straight black hair, olive skin, we even have the same gray eyes. But we’re not related, at least not closely. Most of the families who work the mines resemble one another this way.
- One of the only ways you can have a character describe themself in the 1st person
- Limited to what is currently going on in the story, because having a character randomly talk about their physical appearance is going to be awkward unless it comes up for some reason, and that reason is what they should be comparing themself to
- Katniss is eating with Gale, so her describing him then herself in comparison makes sense
- Don’t need to give this description right off the bat, but give us something to see the character early on
- Example from earlier on pg. 2: “I swing my legs off the bed and ‘slide into my hunting boots. Supple leather that had molded to my feet. I pull on trousers, a shirt, tuck my long dark braid up into a cap, and grab my forage bag.”
- This kind of description can can work in 3rd person too
- “He could be Katniss’s brother. Straight black hair, olive skin, they even have the same gray eyes.”
#4. Spreading out light sprinklings of description
Example: A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin
“A gift from the Magister Ilyrio,” Viserys said, smiling. Her brother was in a high mood tonight. “The color will bring out the violet in your eyes. And you shall have gold as well, and jewels of all sorts. Ilyrio has promised. Tonight you must look like a princess.”
(1 page later)
For nigh on half a year, they had lived in the magister’s house, eating his food, pampered by his servants. Dany was thirteen, old enough to know that such gifts seldom come without their price.
(5 pages later)
The old woman washed her long, silver-pale hair and gently combed out the snags, all in silence.
(1 page later)
They dressed her in the wisps that Magister Ilyrio had sent up, and then the gown, a deep plum silk to bring out the violet in her eyes. The girl slid the gilded sandals onto her feet, while the old woman fixed the tiara in her hair, and slid golden bracelets crusted with amethysts around her wrists. Last of all came the collar, a heavy golden torc emblazoned with ancient Valyrian glyphs.
“Now you look all a princess,” the girl said breathlessly when they were done.
- The least straightforward and most subtle way of describing the character
- Doesn’t overwhelm the reader with too much description at once, which is good. But it also doesn’t paint a picture in their head right away, which can get awkward if not alleviated eventually.
- Need to strike a balance, giving the important stuff first then the less important stuff later
- Page 1-2: eyes, princess, 13 years old (more important)
- Page 7-8: hair, clothes (less important)
- Don’t be afraid to repeat a description, especially if it’s important, such as the eyes and princess here
- Can work in 1st person since it’s so little and spread out, but still make sure it’s in relation to something
- Yes: “The color will bring out the violet in your eyes.”
- Okay: “I was thirteen, old enough to know that such gifts seldom come without their price.”
- No: “The old woman washed my long, silver-pale hair…”
In Summary!
- Which method you use depends on the story you want to write
- Outright description: 3rd person, want to paint a specific picture and don’t care about subtlety
- Describing in relation: 1st/3rd person, want to paint a specific picture and DO care about subtlety
- Sprinkling description: 3rd person, sometimes 1st, don’t need to paint a specific picture right away
After that, chat voted that we practice what we went over by writing a story using this prompt: Something has been falling for 100 years, and is about to land in your front lawn.
We decide to go with “sprinkling description.” Here’s what we came up with (character description underlined):
Me and Pa was sittin’ on the porch spittin’ dip an’ keepin’ an eye out for that dang racoon what been muchin’ on our beans assa late, when suddenly ma came a runnin’ out from the TV room.
“Y’all betta get ya god-given rumpuses inna da basement right now!” she yelled, pointin’ her soup-tastin’ finger up to the sky. “TV says that good-for-nothin’ Astermaroid gonna come pay us a visit not even a forty acres and a mule from here!”
“Dangit, Margaret,” Pa done said, slurping up a real hock nice and juicy and polishin’ his twelve gauge with a rag o’ beaver wax. I myself had no such gun in my lap, just my overalls covered in mud stains and chicken dust. “You gettin’ all worked up from that hootenany what the man in the suit been all babblin’ ‘bout again, aint’cha?”
“It ain’t just the man in the suit, Otis!” Ma tucked her fists into her sides and done growled at Pa like a mad dog on Easter Sunday. “Preacher Lyle was on the public cable, sayin’ that Astermaroid gonna done be here sooner’n Jesus can blink!”
Pa’s eyes grew to the size of grit bowls and the greasy rag slipped out of his hand.
“Preacher Lyle said that?” His voice was suddenly angrier than a bucket ‘o fire ants. Ma nodded her head and kneaded her apron.
“We gotta skedaddle right quick,” she said. “Befo’ that thing hits us like a fox in the henhouse.”
Her peace said, Ma went back inside, but Pa just latched onto me with his eyes even mo’ powerful than the buttons on his britches.
“Boy,” he spoke in a voice like a summer storm, “iffin’ that Astermaroid is truly gonna granny-slap us good, ain’t no basement gonna save us. You know what I’m spittin’ ‘bout?”
“Yes, sir,” I spoke back mighty respectful-like. Pa and Ma always told me that when the Rapture done came, I had to put on my Sunday best for the Lord, both over my skin and over my tongue, and this felt like right-near the same.
“So whadda we do now, boy?” Pa asked, waiting on my answer like Teacher Eloise down at the schoolhouse.
“There’s only three things that can save us now,” I spoke tried and true, havin’ heard the same mo’ times than the cricket’s summer song. The pockets of red on my face, angel kisses as Ma called ‘em, burned hot as I recited the second-holiest scripture. “The three G’s is what we got to depend on. God, gumption, and guns.”
“Dang tootin’!” Pa said with a nod of satisfaction. He reached down to a plank on the porch, wriggled his fingers between it and its brother, then yanked it up, revealin’ a hole in the floor bigger than Uncle Jimbo’s hole in his teeth.
Faster than a wet hen, Pa slipped his hand inside, then pulled out summin’ beautiful. She was a shiny new ten gauge, fresh from Walmart, not even a lick o’ soot round her metal lips. Ain’t never been shot befo’. Pa handed the beauty over to me with a smile on his lips.
“Take her, boy,” he spoke between his wheezin’. “You’re thirteen now, a man far as myself and God’s plan for boys is concerned.”
I wrapped my fingers round her cold body like a day-old hotdog half price down at Cony’s. She was almost as heavy too. When Pa let go, I had her all to myself, an’ I very nearly cried seein’ my own face reflected in her shiny body.
Without anotha’ word need passin’ between us, Pa and I stood up straight as cornstalks an’ looked up to the Astermaroid in the sky, hanging there like a big ‘ol brown egg stuck in a chicken what need a little help in layin’. And we was ready with the chicken grease.
“When God throws a pitch,” Pa whispered only to me, “you take the swing. And dagnabbit, I’ve got a hankerin’ to send that yankee Astermaroid back over yonder where it done came from.”
It was Fourth of July right there on our frontstoop. Me and Pa done blasted our lead poppers straight at that high-falutin’ Astermaroid, hopin’ to blow it to grits, or least knock it out of Merica’s heartland and send it back to one ‘o dem fancy cities don’t no one care ’bout nothin’ what happens there.
All the shots done set my ears a ringin’ like church bells, but that Astermaroid was one tough varmit. It plunged forward, faster, straight at us, lightin’ up the sky as bright red as Satan’s bunghole.
We was ‘pproximately as powerful against it as a couple o’ cops against an army o’ moonshiners. The Astermaroid grew bigger than a barnyard and twice as angry, no matter how many slugs we shot at it.
Seein’ my own imminent meetin’ with Jesus flying right at me, I lowered my sweet girl down and put my hand on Pa’s shoulder.
“I reckon we should high tail it to the basement with Ma,” I said. Pa, bless his heart, didn’t budge from shooting up at the sky.
“That Astermaroid can trespass on my property over my dead body,” he said.
Iffin’ I had to go to Heaven today, I was gonna get there without gettin’ a whoopin’ from Pa my first steps into the pearly gates. I stood there next to him, watchin’ him give a piece of his mind to the hellrock as best he could befo’ it licked us clean straight off the Earth.
And when its tongue came down upon us, it licked us good.
Everything flashed white like doin’ a cannonball into Cecil Johnson’s backyard swimmin’ pool filled with chlo-rine. Same as the pool, I was soaked, only in soil ‘stead o’ water. Smoke and fire burned all over like the outhouse after a visit from Uncle Huck and one of his cherry bombs.
The coughin’ wouldn’t stop like a son of a gun, and I cried out for Pa and Ma but my eyes couldn’t see nothin’ but white cotton smoke all around. If I had my druthers I would’ve run right quick, but I stood like a poked pig, wavin’ my hands and dancin’ like a fool tryna brush it all away.
Later than sooner, it started to clear away, and my mouth done fell right open just like what Moses must looked like when Jesus set fire to his bush. Right in the front yard, like summina biggest and summina ugliest garden gnome I ever did done see, was what was left of the Astermaroid, all smokin’ and chunky like a spoonful of burned Skippy with the peanuts left inside. Sparklin’ all over were little sprinkles of me and Pa’s gunshots, shinin’ like diamonds in the sun atop the crusty hill.
And stickin’ out from underneath the Astermaroid was the dead face of that dagnabbin’ raccoon Pa and I had been tryna shoo outta here.
“Pa!” I called. “Pa, look! That Astermaroid done cooked the raccoon clean through! Pa! Where are ya, Pa?”
I looked around, hoping to revel in the joy with Pa, but the smoke was still thicker than Aunt Jemima’s. My bearings back in their holes, I rangled myself around best I could, till I smacked my face inna sumthin’ right hard.
Steppin’ back, squintin’ somethin’ fierce, I saw what it was.
“Boy,” came the voice of Pa himself. He stepped forward through the smoke, his face harder than the wood of Joseph. “That Astermaroid was a blessing from God himself. I prayed every night for help in riddin’ our field o’ that varmit, and now it’s been answered.”
Pa put out his hand to the Astermaroid like he was showin’ it off at some county fair.
“An’ look,” he said. “All them bullets what stuck in. Must’ve slown it down just enough to not hit our beloved homestead. Like I always said, each bullet is a gift from god, and it’s our duty to open every last one of them.”
Before I could even find the words to speak my peace to Pa, there came a siren something awful as the po-lice drove down in their pattywagons, parkin’ right next to the Astermaroid. They whooped right out them doors and gave Pa the stares.
“What in tarnation happened here?” Sheriff Bufrod asked. Pa stepped forward, slowly reloadin’, both his gun and the dip in his lip.
“Now I don’t mean no disrespect, Sheriff Buford,” Pa done spoke. “Whatcha got here is an Astermaroid on my property, filled with my property, namely my bullets in specific, so until further notice this wickerdoodle is my property as well, and I kindly ask you step away from it.”
Sheriff Buford and the other officers chuckled at each other like a buncha girls gettin’ ready to ask out some boys for the Sadie Hawkin’s dance.
“Now now, Otis,” Sheriff Bufod said. “What are you even plannin’ on doin’ with this Astermaroid? You can’t just mount this on your wall, you know.”
“Oh I know,” Pa said. “Don’t matter. I’mma charge them city folk five dollars a pop come and see this thing. Modern Art is what I call it. Created from Heaven itself! And now, Sheriff, way I see it, you and your boys owe me… twenty-five dollars all together. So I need you to poop or get off the pot. Pay up or I’mma ‘cuse you of trespassin’!”
Be sure to check out the video to for a dramatic reading!
And here’s an amazing rendition of Pa and Boy by cozyrogers!
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
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Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso