Sometimes when you’re writing a story you have to skip ahead a few days… or a few hundred days.
How do you do that without jarring your reader?
Let’s look at some examples, find out, and write our own!
During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we go over how to control flow of time in a story.
You can watch the full video here to or scroll down for notes/highlights.
How to Manage Flow of Time in a Story
- When you’re writing a story, quite often you’re going to have to jump ahead a few days, weeks, or even years
- And that’s perfectly fine! Not all stories are told within just a few days, and even the ones that are still have to skip a few hours every now and then
- But how do you do it without being jarring? And so that your story still feels connected? Let’s take a look at an example to find out!
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Timeline
#1. Prologue > Dudley’s Birthday (10 years)
Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.
- The length of time you’re skipping doesn’t matter
- All that matters is staying in relevant scenes
- Don’t feel like you’re jumping too far ahead, just jump to exactly where your story needs to be told from next
#2. Zoo Snake Incident > Magical Letters (1 month)
The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.
#3. Diagon Alley > Platform 9 ¾ (1 month)
Harry’s last month with the Dursley’s wasn’t fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry that he wouldn’t stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn’t shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything, or shout at him — in fact they didn’t speak to him at all.
- Giving a quick recap is perfectly fine, especially if you can reference things that came up previously to make it feel more connected (like Dudley’s toys) or how things have changed to give a sense of progress (like the Dursley’s attitude)
#4. Remembrall > Telling Ron (a few hours)
Then Professor McGonagall smiled.
“Your father would have been proud,” she said. “He was an excellent Quidditch player himself.”
***
“You’re joking.”
It was dinnertime. Harry had just finished telling Ron what had happened when he’d left the grounds with Professor McGonagall. Ron had a piece of steak and kidney pie halfway to his mouth, but he’d forgotten all about it.
#5. Quidditch training > Wingardium Leviosa (2 months)
“That Quidditch cup’ll have our name on it this year,” said Wood happily as they trudged back up to the castle. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn’t gone off chasing dragons.”
***
Perhaps it was because he was now so busy, what with Quidditch practice three evenings a week on top of all his homework, but Harry could hardly believe it when he realized that he’d already been at Hogwarts two months. The castle felt more like home than Privet Drive ever had. His lessons, too, were becoming more interesting now that they had mastered the basics.
- You can jump ahead a few hours or a few months in the middle of a chapter
- Again, the focus isn’t on the length of time skipped, it’s on the relevance of the current scenes
- The only part of the skip’s length that matters is that the longer the skip, the more scene-setting you’ll have to do before starting the new scene, to show us when/where it’s taking place now
#6. Troll Fight > Quidditch (few weeks)
As they entered November, the weather turned very cold. The mountain around the school became icy gray and the lake like chilled steel.
#7. Tea with Hagrid > Mirror of Erised (a few weeks)
Christmas was coming. One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow.
- One good way to skip ahead in time is to show the change in seasons
- Physical description that swaths over an entire setting is great for giving a sense of time shift
#8. Mirror of Erised > Nicolas Flamel (a few weeks)
Dumbledore had convinced Harry not to go looking for the Mirror of Erised again, and for the rest of the Christmas holidays the invisibility cloak stayed folded at the bottom of his trunk.
#9. Snape/Quirrel Argument > Norbert’s hatching (months)
Quirrell, however, must have been braver than they’d thought. In the weeks that followed he did seem to be getting paler and thinner, but it didn’t look as though he’d cracked yet.
- Telling, rather than showing, the reader the continuation of the scene they just read is a good way to speed ahead in time
#10. Forbidden Forest > Fluffy (week or so)
In years to come, Harry would never quite remember how he had managed to get through his exams when he half expected Voldemort to come bursting through the door at any moment. Yet the days crept by, and there could be no doubt that Fluffy was still alive and well behind the locked door.
- Changing perspective (“In years to come…”) is not usually recommended, but giving recaps to the reader about what’s going on in the story (fearing Voldemort’s return after seeing him in the forest, and hoping that Snape didn’t get past Fluffy) is highly recommended
Summary of Ways to Skip Ahead
- Give a quick recap of the interim, especially if you can tie in relevant things from the last scene
- Set the scene/tone to show us how much time has passed
- Show us how much time has passed by the change of seasons
- Just outright tell us how much time has passed
- Reminding the reader what’s going on in the story
After that, chat voted that we write a story using time skips using this prompt: An old man who passes his life humbly at a shrine. Things happen… very… very rarely.
Here’s what we came up with:
After the pain of the war, Takeshi could no longer bear to be around other people. What had been done to him, and what he had done to others, that was all he could see when he peered into the eyes of another.
He left his village, unable to even look his family in the eye anymore. Shame scraped through him with every glance, every breath between them. He walked down the dusty road, not knowing where it would take him, not caring where it led.
By the time night fell, only the light of the moon guided him in the darkness. Leaves crunched beneath his rope-woven sandals, promising what he would become soon enough, as the unseen animals around him whispered and cackled their promises of a quick death.
Ready to embrace what he deserved, Takeshi came to a stop in the middle of the woods. He put out his hands, welcoming his fate with open arms.
His fingers scraped against something hard and stone. Curious, Takeshi felt around in the inky blackness, trying to feel what he had stumbled into. It was smooth and round, with sharp punctures mottled all over that the tips of his fingers dipped in and out of.A part of his mind that he’d forgotten about for years suddenly lit up. Memories of his childhood, coming to the Tsukuyomi shrine with his parents here at the outskirts of his village. They would pray to the moon god for a bountiful rice harvest, smack their palms together, throw a sen into the offering box, then enjoy a snack of riceballs and smiles together as a family.
Sliding his arm around the smooth rock, Takeshi walked to the other side, the moon now behind the statue. From his new position, the tips of the thick trees no longer blocked the moonlight. Brightness shone down, illuminating the empty stone lantern that he’d been touching, and the decrepit steps up the hill to the Tsukuyomi shrine.
In a flash, a flame burst out of nothing from within the lantern, sending the darkness and cackling creatures surrounding Takeshi fleeing. He stared at the glowing flame, now letting him easily see the shrine at the top of the hill, which was little more than a few burnt planks and pillars.
Takeshi saw his path clearly before him. He was no longer to exist in the world of men. He was to devote himself to rebuilding what they had so carelessly destroyed. To gain back a little bit of what they had lost. To light up a small part of the world with the small ember of joy left inside him that was only lit again thanks to Tsukuyomi.
Because what is the moon if not a guide in dark times?
Takeshi worked every day to rebuild the shrine to its former dignity. He lived in harmony with the woods, cutting down only what he needed, eating only what the forest was willing to give him. He never hunted the animals that had hunted him that first night, relying only on the offerings of the plants.
Within a month, the shrine itself was big enough to house Takeshi, not letting a single drop of rain through the newly-patched roof. He smoothed over the holes in the stone lantern with smooth tar, and scoured for new rocks to replace the steps.
But Takeshi was not satisfied. He wanted to expand the shrine, make it live up to its true glory that it deserved. So he went to work.
It took a year, but he crafted a wall around the main shrine, and connected it all together with a thatched roof. Even the trees that lived close by to the shrine seemed to grow toward it, as if not only forgiving Takeshi for using their children to build it, but wanting to be a part of it themselves.
Finally satisfied with his work, one crisp and cold fall night, Takeshi lit the stone lantern at the base of the stairs. Smacking two flint rocks together, a spark jumped inside the kindling and the lantern waxed to life with a light flame. Takeshi stood back and admired his work, for the first time in many years feeling as though he’d accomplished something worthwhile.
Crunches from leaves in the woods sent Takeshi dashing away. In the past year he had not seen a single other person, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready now. Hiding behind a tree, he watched as a small family of a woman and child inspected his lantern, then slowly crept up the stairs to the shrine. Even from his watching distance, he could hear the slap of their hands coming together, then the metallic clink of a single sen thrown into the wooden donation box.
The mother and child slowly walked down the steps, admiring the shrine’s beauty, until they passed by Takeshi’s hiding tree and disappeared into the woods.
That was just the first of many visitors to come. As snow sprinkled down, bringing winter along with it, more and more visitors came to Tsukuyomi’s shrine. Most of them visited at night, with the moon bright in the sky right above the hill. Takeshi watched them all, the joy in his heart growing from that small ember now into a crackling fire.
Winter blossomed to spring, which simmered to summer, then ripened to fall, and back again. Over and over and over, throughout the years, as Takeshi stayed at the shrine, expanding it, fixing it, always making sure it stayed in good health.
More and more families visited the shrine. Their clothes changed as the decades passed. Kimonos turned to dresses turned to jeans turned to shorts. But the one constant was that single family, the mother and son, who came every year to visit.
Now, the mother was an old woman, hunched over with arthritis, and the son was a grandfather of his own. The family visited together, more than a dozen in tow, the children’s children bumbling about and picking up sticks and whacking the stone lantern with their palms. Like many of the other lights around the shrine now, it had an electric bulb inside of it illuminating the stairs up the hill.
They all went together to the top of the shrine, and one by one, starting with the youngest, smacked their hands together, and threw in some yen to the donation box.
Takeshi, now so old he could barely walk, managed to stand not far away from them. Most of the family said their prayers silently, but when the old woman finally took her turn, either because she didn’t realize she was doing it, or perhaps because she wanted them to hear, said hers out loud.
“Tsukiyomi,” she said, her wrinkled lips fluttering out the words as she looked to the moon above. “Thank you for watching over my husband Takeshi for so many years. But now, it’s time for us to see each other again.”
The family around her, with confused looks, patted her on the shoulder and back and helped escort her slowly down the stone stairs to the base of the shrine.
And finally, this time, Takeshi held her hand, and walked down the mountain with them.
Be sure to check out the video to see how we answered the five questions to flesh out the magic system and come up with that story!
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso (1, 2)