Coming up with a good simile is hard… like concrete.
Thankfully, if you just keep a few tips in mind, they can be a little easier… like making instant ramen.
So let’s go ahead and get started… like a race! (Okay, I’ll stop now.)
During the last stream, the subscribers voted that we talk about “good vs. bad similes”
Watch the full video here or scroll down for highlights.
What is a simile?
- A comparison that uses “like” or “as.”
- “He flew through the sky like a bird.”
- “He was as vicious as an angry goose.”
What makes a good simile?
- #1. It SHOWs not TELLs
- X “She was surprised in a bad way” vs.
- O “She felt like an ax had been thrust into her back.”
- #2. It EMPHASIZEs
- X “The water quenched his thirst” vs.
- O “He lapped up the water like a rabid dog, each swallow making him feel like he was being reborn into the world.”
- #2. It makes a description more CLEAR
- X “She smiled” vs.
- O “A mischievous grin spread across her face like a little girl who’d just tricked her parents.”
What makes a bad simile?
- #1. Redundancy
- “The young fighter had a hungry look, like the kind you get from not eating for a while.”
- (The simile should expand upon the description, not just repeat it.)
- #2. Poor comparison
- “The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a jpeg file adjusted to 60 percent yellow.”
- “He soared through the sky like a baboon.”
- (The comparison should be easily understandable and fit with the tone of the story.)
- #3. Cliches
- “Dead as a doornail.”
- “Good as gold.”
- “Feel like a million bucks.”
- (Try to use a simile that you’ve never heard before.)
Here’s some examples of good similes that we came up with during the stream for five different topics that chat voted for:
#1. Hearing an old favorite song
- The familiar strains of the lullaby wrapped around her like a mother’s hug.
- Hearing an old favorite song was like hearing the ice cream truck on a hot summer’s day.
- The peppy sounds of Spice Girls were like a straight shot back to the days of jelly bangles and sticky lip gloss.
#2. Hornet’s nest
- The hornet’s nest was like a solidified tornado of wood pulp and wax, roaring with the endless anger of its inhabitants.
- The buzzing of the hornet’s nest cut through the air behind me like footsteps in an alley after dark
- The hornets dripped out of the nest like pus oozing from a wound.
#3. Sweet tea
- Like a sunset in a glass, the sweet tea brought an end to another day of summer vacation.
- The sweet tea crashed into my mouth like a lemony wave on a beach of sugar.
- A small mountain of sugar dissolved into the simmering tea, fading from sight like stars greeting the daylight.
#4. Triple homicide
- The three dead bodies sprawled in the pool of blood, limbs spread like children making snow angels.
- The mess left from the dismembered bodies was horrific yet beautiful, like a Jackson Pollock drip painting.
- The triple homicide case lingered in my desk, cold and unmoving like a body in a grave.
#5. Scott’s haircut
- Telling the barber to keep cutting my hair shorter every time he thought he was done was as frustrating as telling a two year old throwing a temper tantrum to keep eating their peas before they could get ice cream.
- Scott’s hairs sat on his head like a dead muskrat mutilated for its prized fur.
- The hairdresser snipped scoot’s hair more carefully than my friend surgically removing me from her social life.
- Scott’s haircut was like an 8-foot tall 4 year old. It was supposed to be short!
- Asking my boss about cutting my hours is like Scott’s haircut experience, he only takes away a few hours when I want entire days lopped off.
- Scott’s barber was like the worst editor. He cut too much, and mostly the good stuff.
Be sure to check out the video for more awesome similes from chat!
After that, chat voted that we write a story about the kakapo, a New Zealand bird that cannot fly
Here’s what we came up with:
For a million years, the little lemon-and-lime-colored kakapo birds lived luxuriously on the island of New Zealand. With no natural predators, the birds gorged themselves on their favorite nuts, the adults eventually growing so fat that they couldn’t even fly anymore. But it did not matter, because they had no predators to escape from, so they just lived happily, eating, breeding, and chirping as they rolled their rotund feathery bodies around on the ground.
Until the humans came.
It wasn’t so much the humans that were the issue for the kakapo, it was their pets: the cats. These natural killers would creep up on the fat, immobile birds, and slash them open with their claws, unleashing their delicious bird-juices into their mouths. With most kakapo unable to escape the cats once sighted, their numbers dwindled and dwindled to near extinction.
At the latest kakapo kollective, the yearly meeting for the birds, there was pandemonium as everyone tried to decide what to do. Some suggested migrating elsewhere, but their diets were so evolved to this one specific place that likely wouldn’t be able to survive anywhere else… even assuming if they could make the flight. Other suggested just going all out on filling their last few days with as many nuts as possible, living the good life until their inevitable claw-filled deaths.
But one kakapo, Kevin, proposed an alternate solution. Instead of running away or giving up, why not learn from their predators? If they couldn’t beat them, then perhaps they could join them… in the families of humans.
And that’s why, in so many New Zealand homes now, there’s a pet kakapo tucked away safely in a cage, munching on delicious nuts, just like they have done for a million years.
All the cats can do is sit on the floor, stare up at them, and lick their fangs, waiting for an opportunity that will never kakapo-come.
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Pakutaso