Let’s write about random world locations… with a twist.
Each round we spin the Wheel of Writing Restrictions and we have to obey what it says, along with every other restriction so far.
Will our house of cards topple, or will we emerge victorious???
GeoGuessr is a website where you’re thrown into a random spot in the world on Google Maps streetview, and you have to try and guess where you are.
During the last stream, chat and I played a game of GeoGuessr, and just like when we’ve done this before, we were given five random locations anywhere in the world.
We had to write a short story for each one… but every time, we also added two randomly chosen writing restrictions. It got… pretty intense toward the end lol.
Here’s the video of the whole stream, exercise starts around 54:00.
And here’s some highlights of what me/chat came up with for each location, with some of my favorite phrases bolded.
Location #1: La Tournette, France
Restrictions:
1. The writing must be exactly 95 words long
2. Each sentence must be a command.
3. Have to type with chopsticks
SCOTT
Come atop my mountain, my poor little lambs! Heal yourselves with the fresh cloud air, with my words, and of course, the glorious metallic shimmerings of this cross planted into the rocks. You must learn the truth, that this cross was not put here as you see it, it was planted as a seed that grew into its current metallic splendor! You WILL get close to god here, either by breathing in the clouds of heaven as you worship him, or as I heave you off the cliff and you scream his name, plunging below!JUSTINTOONZ
Climb! March up the mountain! Rise above the clouds! I don’t care if you can’t breathe up here! Do as I command. Kneel before the cross! Religious or not, you must kiss the ground beneath your feet! You must show the earth your appreciation! Let the air know you love it with every breath you struggle to take! Ignore the other soulless people up there! Revel in yourself, and the pain you feel from climbing, but keep your attention on the cross, black and beautiful! Fight your thoughts of self-doubt and fear! Forever worship me!ERICA
Rid yourself of the sob stories that brought you here. Relish the journey, each step up the craggy mountain. Breathe—the air is not thin; your spirit is. Push through! Slip on a rock and grab hold for dear life. Pray you don’t tumble down. Gaze at the gauzy clouds, how they float in the sky. Ponder your poor choices. Sink into sullen despair. Wish how you too could float free. But then…feel the wind’s caress and let it strengthen your resolve. Carry yourself to the peak. See the cross, and let your tears finally flow.Joe_g89:
Walk over the jagged rocks up this mountain. Say hello to the clouds and wave the light, airy smoke from your eyes. Open your ears to the sound of quiet tranquility. See the cross. Remember that God’s whisper is much louder up here. Gaze over the world, let your eyes caress the soft cupples of the hills that greet you almost as their equal. Smell rock dust, lap at the wind that carries the salt. Bow down to the cross, know your place. Take solace in your spirituous endeavor to climb. Breathe deep.
Location #2: Vilyuchinsk, Russia
Restrictions:
1. The writing must be exactly 59 words long
2. Each sentence must be a command.
3. Have to type with chopsticks
4. Written like a scientific journal essay.
5. The narrator is suffering a severe mid life crisis
SCOTT:
They said, “Come to the Arctic and find fulfillment in studying snow!” Take your mind off your ex and discover a new path in life. Get lost in the coniferous branches, just like you lost custody of your kids! Anyway, according to my “fulfilling” research, don’t eat snow, unless you like mouthfuls of bugs and piss… like my ex.Joe_g89:
Count the number of trees and imagine all the children I could have had. Scream “what have I done with my life” with me. Relax because no one can hear the pain of a regretful life out here. Shiver, not because it’s cold, but shiver from the black cloud you’ve invented, floating above you at all times. Scream again.
Location #3: Nepal
Restrictions:
1. The writing must be exactly 105 words long
2. Each sentence must be a command.
3. Have to type with chopsticks
4. Written like a scientific journal essay.
5. The narrator is suffering a severe mid life crisis
6. MC must be hospitalized
7. The antagonist must be a real historical person
SCOTT
Wheel in the subject on his hospital gurney, and place him by his birthday streamers. Begin his final wish, to have a birthday in his favorite location, not a restaurant, but the cold, sharp air of the barren stone mountains. But be careful, our publisher is not covering any accidents, so do not let the subject blow out his own cake candles. Let me do that, I’ve never been allowed, and you will not stand in my way of satisfying my stifled inner child! You all will observe as I, Earnest Shackelton, both research effects of cold on the subject AND having one’s birthday stolen.Joe_g89:
Hurt your feet on the marble rocks. Sling your soul in a hammock between mountains. Don’t have me join, for this human lacks the soul. Read this divorce form, read the line about me jumping from that mountain top and unaliving myself. Stop. Look at my ex-wife, Betty Ford, driving the Volkswagen Beetle. Calculate the speed as it reaches top death-speed. Wheel me far away in my wheelchair of calcified anguish. Don’t trip on any rocks. Hear me make stuttering noises, scientifically called Vibrato, as you wheel me over my rocky escape. Make sure Betty hits a rock wall like my life did years ago.
Location #4: Garni, Armenia
Restrictions:
1. The writing must be exactly 69 words long
2. Each sentence must be a command.
3. Have to type with chopsticks
4. Written like a scientific journal essay.
5. The narrator is suffering a severe mid life crisis
6. MC must be hospitalized
7. The antagonist must be a real historical person
8. Must use the word ‘ye’ instead of ‘the’.
9. Must describe everything using only one sense, taste.
SCOTT
Say that to my face, umbrella head! Get over here, I’mma investigate you for my scientific article on cryptids. Hold him, boys, I’m going in for ye lick! Holy dongs, you gotta taste this to believe it — like fresh leather in that car I bought and can’t afford. Wake me up in ye hospital after I pass out so I can create this monster in my Silent Hill franchise!Joe_g89:
Bow down on ye road rocks and lick where ye tires have rolled. Taste ye sodium, taste ye rock minerals. Help me down from my gurney, I’m a paralyzed parapalegic, ye metal bars taste like rubbing alcohol and some weak applesauce. Don’t just touch the grass, chew it like your cud. Gnaw on ye blades, let ye grass remind you of uncooked wheat spaghetti. Do not lick Fred Flintstone.
Location #5: Hunan, China
Restrictions:
1. The writing must be exactly 72 words long
2. Each sentence must be a command.
3. Have to type with chopsticks
4. Written like a scientific journal essay.
5. The narrator is suffering a severe mid life crisis
6. MC must be hospitalized
7. The antagonist must be a real historical person
8. Must use the word ‘ye’ instead of ‘the’.
9. Must describe everything using only one sense, taste.
10. Must write the description like a recipe.
11. The first letter of each sentence must spell out SHREK
SCOTT:
Shred fresh herbs from your balustrade planters. Have a look to make sure they’re not rotten and you don’t end up in ye ER like me. Realize you’re cooking for four, ye days when you could just order whatever and eat for yourself are gone, never to return. Eat when plump and bristling with wet, sloppy juices that ye sandpaper tongue laps up like Charles Entertainment Cheese’s disappointment pizza supreme. Kill me.unintendo
Study these instructions well, reader, and you can tongue-carve a balustrade. Having lost my own tongue and my wife to Gordon Ramsay in my own attempts, you must succeed where I failed! Reduce 4 parts cement into two parts water, then let it sit in umami molds. Exuberantly rub your tongue against ye cement pillars, noting ye salty notes in ye marble. Keep licking these ashen posts until you have a balustrade.Joe_g89:
Stir in ye potted plants but make sure they taste like dirty, fragrant clay. Help yourself to our trees and chew ye bark before adding. Remember ye life I used to have and add ye teardrops of medical bills. Examine and lick ye cracked stone ground and make sure your dish tastes as such. Kill some mountain-climbing goat which tastes like musk beyond belief. Say goodbye to Jacques Cousteau. Heave ye meat.
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
