Our cheese-loving protagonist has been sent to a world made entirely of dairy products… and cursed with lactose intolerance!
How will he fare??
Let’s find out as we continue the story together!
During the last stream, we wrote the continuation of our cheese isekai story that we started in a previous stream.
If you missed that, read the beginning that we wrote during that stream here.
Watch the full stream here if you’d like.
Here’s how we continued the story:
The milk-sweet smell of cheese was all around me. I had to be in my bedroom, just waking up, ready to sample all of the new cheeses we were going to be selling at Dairy-Air.
Excited, I snapped my eyes open and shot up in bed, eager to begin.
But instead of throwing off my sheets and stepping on my carpet, I threw off a thin sheet of Sharpham and stepped into soft grasses of gorgonzola. All around me, thick trees of truffle tremor exuded their earthy aroma, their Lincolnshire leaves blowing in the brie-ze. Babybel bunnies hopped around, lapping at a lake of milk. One of them stared at me curiously as I sat there, completely dumbfounded.
It hadn’t been a dream. I really had been sent to Cheesetopia.
The first thing to hit me was how cold it was. My arms snapped around my body as my teeth chattered and I stared up at the sky. The sun for Cheestopia, if it could even be called that, was little more than an orange cheese puff in the sky, barely keeping the air above freezing as wispy clouds of cold cottage cheese poured from my mouth.
Of course, that all made sense. A world made entirely of cheese wouldn’t last long if it was warm. The whole thing would melt faster than a fondue.
Although, this world wasn’t going to last much longer with me here either!
Like an excited cow feeding on cud, I bent over on all fours and started grazing on mac and cheese moss. My tongue scooped it up like a shovel into a sandbox, crunching away with a smile on my face. The entire world around me, every living thing, was a buffet just waiting to be sampled!
That’s when the bloating set in.
All it took was a few swallows for my stomach to feel like it was expanding right up against my rib cage, ready to pop. I slowly stood back up, trying to keep myself straight as nausea began pooling inside my head. Even the inside of my mouth started itching as I spat out the mossy liquid, scraping it off my pulsating tongue.
That’s right. That stupid goddess! She’d cursed me with lactose intolerance. All my life, I’d pitied those poor souls who had to endure living without dairy products. What was the point in even being alive? I’d wondered to myself often. Now, it was my turn to experience their hell, in what should have been my heaven.
“Kyaaaaaaaaa!”
A voice pierced through the cheese fauna, sending the babybel bunnies all hopping away in fear. I fell to the ground, smacking my butt hard against the crumbly Danablue dirt. It rumbled beneath me as the leaves shook and something burst out through the space between the trunks of truffle tremors.
It was a cheese human.
She was like a more wild version of the cheese goddess. Off-white skin that, instead of being composed of a rainbow of cheeses, looked like it was just one: Roquefort. I could tell by its distinctive veins of blue mold, buds of moisture, and of course its pungent fragrance reminiscent of the Combalou caves of Roquefort-sur-Soulzon.
In other words, she was beautiful.
“What are you doing here?!” she yelled at me. “Run! There’s a Cheese-ranno-sauce-rus after me!”
I was so captivated by her well-crafted Livarot leather outfit that it took me a moment to even realize that she’d said something, much less something that I should have been paying attention to.
Because it was right in front of me, bearing its fromage fangs!
The Cheese-ranno-sauce-rus howled so loud my ears popped and its curdled breath sent me gagging. I was already gassy and cramping from the mac and cheese moss, so when I tried to roll out of the way and run, all I accomplished was passing a cloud of pain through my intestines.
But just as the monster was about to sever my head with a cheesy chomp, something slammed into me from the side. I tumbled right into the milky lake, and its icy liquid snapped me out of my lactose languish.
The cheese woman had pushed me out of harm’s way, but the Cheese-ranno-sauce-rus reached forward with its tiny curd claws and knocked her to the ground, ready to turn her into a charcuterie platter.
Not if I had anything to say about it! Luckily, I had a secret weapon up my sleeve. Or, should I say, in my pocket.
Apparently when the goddess sent me here, she’d sent me with everything I’d had on me. And just that morning when I’d gotten hit by the dairy truck, I had one very important item that I was planning on using… and that would be very helpful to survive in this world.
A cheese grater!
With renewed strength pumping through me instead of painful gases, I leaped at the monster, brandishing my sharp metal cheese grater like a sword. I’d shredded parmigiano, pecorino, and even a decade-aged gouda with this baby before. This soft-bellied creature was nothing.
All it took was one, two, three swift slices from the cheese grater to send the beast roaring in pain. I’d shaved the side of its saucy scales, and it bounded away back into the safety of the cheese trees, leaving me alone, panting, fromage fluids dripping from my grater.
“Who are you?” the cheese woman asked, staring up at me in disbelief. I offered her my hand and helped her back to standing. She examined my skin curiously. “What cheese are you made of? I don’t think I’ve seen it before. What kingdom do you hail from?”
“My name is Colby Jack,” I said. “And I suppose I hail from the Kingdom of… America. I’m made of American Cheese.”
If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch.
And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the YouTube channel or watch the full stream reruns.
Hope to see you next time, friend!
Featured image: Unsplash