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Tag: funny

W.T.F. Japan: Top 5 most annoying sounds in Japan 【Weird Top Five】

This week for my RocketNews24 W.T.F. Japan article, I wrote about the top five most annoying sounds in Japan.

Some annoying sounds are universal. Nonstop crying babies and honking horns are enough to get most people’s blood boiling.

But there are some sounds that are unique to, or at least far more common in, certain countries. There’s a lot of sounds that I’ve only ever heard after coming to Japan, and while many of them are pleasant, there’s quite a few that I could’ve lived happily never hearing.

That’s why I decided to compile a list of the most annoying sounds I’ve heard in Japan. A lot of these are sounds that you pretty much don’t hear anywhere else in the world, so go ahead and enjoy some of the rare audial “delights.”

Read the article here.

Photo & Haiku Friday: Japanese Trump Mask

Every Friday I like to write a too-cool-for-school haiku inspired by a photo from JapanI bribe my wife to add her own as well, so we can get as many interpretations as possible, and sometimes a Japanese one happens to float in off a gentle breeze of inspiration.

Last week we looked at an advertisement for a hospital from hell. Here’s this week’s photo, a screenshot of a mask for sale on a Japanese website:

08-mask

My English haiku:
Sold out of Trump masks
Now I must find something else
To impress my friends

Abbey’s haiku:
Why are you yelling?
Sit down and eat your dinner
Here comes the airplane

My Japanese haiku:
日の出のよう
肩から出てる
黄金うんこ

(Like a sunrise)
(It comes out from the shoulders)
(A golden turd)

(Images via Ogawa Studios)

W.T.F. Japan: Top 5 Japanese pet kabutomushi beetles 【Weird Top Five】

This week for my RocketNews24 W.T.F. Japan article, I wrote about top five Japanese pet kabutomushi beetles.

A few months ago I looked at the top five creepiest Japanese insects, and one notable bug missing from the list was Japanese beetles. The way they fly up and attack people, you might think they’d be a prime candidate.

Except for the fact that Japanese beetles are often kept as pets. I couldn’t possibly bring myself to include pets on a “creepy” list, but I knew I’d want to talk about them one day so here we are!

Keeping beetles are pets may seem crazy to those outside of Japan, but it’s basically the equivalent of keeping goldfish here. They’re popular with kids and don’t live very long, but at least with beetles you can get some of that creepy-crawly affection if you so desire.

Whether you love beetles or think they look like poops with legs, you’ll probably enjoy reading this one.

Read the article here.

Photo & Haiku Friday: Hospital from Hell… in my Hometown

Every Friday I like to write an ode to a photo in Japan with a hot-off-the-keyboard haiku. Sometimes a Japanese one happens to float in off a gentle breeze of inspiration as well.

Last week we looked at a Shiba Inu in Halloween costume. Here’s this week’s photo that I took at my local train station, a lovely advertisement for a hospital:

07-nope

My English haiku:
COME TO MY CLINIC
THAT THING? DON’T WORRY IT’S GONE
THE HUMAN IS DEAD

My Japanese haiku:
安心して
ロボットに任せ
痛いかも

(Just relax)
(Let the robot do its thing)
(It might hurt a bit)

W.T.F. Japan: Top 5 most confusing Japanese counter words 【Weird Top Five】

This week for my RocketNews24 W.T.F. Japan article, I wrote about top five most confusing Japanese counter words.

Japanese is a hard language to learn, but not for the reasons most people think it is. I did a previous W.T.F. Japan about the top five myths about learning Japanese, and I stand by that kanji is definitely not the hardest part of Japanese.

Maybe someday I’ll do a W.T.F. on the top five reasons Japanese is actually hard, but for now I just wanted to focus on one of the harder aspects of the language: counter words.

In English we say a “head” of lettuce and a “loaf” of bread, but in Japanese they have counter words for everything. No matter what you’re counting – people, computers, books, sheep – there’s a counter word that must be used. You can’t just say “three sheep” and be understood, you have to say the equivalent of “three heads of sheep.”

In this W.T.F. I go over some of the more ridiculous counter words, which have tripped me and my students up for years. Even if you’ve never studied Japanese before, I think it will be a fun read just to see how linguistically different (and crazy) Japanese can be sometimes.

Read the article here.

Photo & Haiku Friday: Stegosaurus Shiba Dog

Every Friday I like to decorate desecrate a photo in Japan with a heavenly haiku. I bribe my wife to add her own as well, so we can get as many interpretations as possible, and sometimes a Japanese one happens to float in off a gentle breeze of inspiration.

Last week we composed haiku for a mama praying mantis. Here’s this week’s photo of a shiba dog in a stegosaurus costume for Halloween:

05-doge

My English haiku:
Dog’s got his costume
Ready to go trick or treat
Hope they give out bones!

Abbey’s English haiku:
Howl-loween costume
I’m a stegosaurus, bitch
Wait, how do I poop?

My Japanese haiku:
犬ごころ
ステゴサウルス
魂かな

(The heart of a dog)
(The soul of a)
(Stegosaurus)

W.T.F. Japan: Top 5 budget Japanese Halloween costumes 【Weird Top Five】

This week for my RocketNews24 W.T.F. Japan article, I wrote about the top budget Japanese Halloween costumes.

Halloween is becoming bigger in Japan every year. Even though trick-or-treating still isn’t really a thing, dressing up very much is, and there are some Japanese monsters that make for great costumes.

Unfortunately Japanese costumes can be a little hard to come by outside of Japan, so this week I worked together with my wife to show off how you can make your own for extremely cheap. Every costume is about $6 or less to make, and pretty much guaranteed to be unique.

So if you need a costume and you’re short on cash… I think you know what to do.

Read the article here.

Photo & Haiku Friday: Mama Mantis

Every Friday I like to celebrate a photo in Japan with a freshly-formed haiku. I bribe my wife to add her own as well, so we can get as many interpretations as possible, and sometimes a Japanese one happens to float in off a gentle breeze of inspiration.

Last week we haiku-ed up a cat wall. Here’s this week’s photo of a pregnant praying mantis:

04-mantis

My English haiku:
Fingers can destroy
Infinite generations
Or help create them

Abbey’s English haiku:
Little bug I love you
Don’t climb up that wall just yet
Let’s take a selfie

My Japanese haiku:
「写メすんなよ!」
「でぶで化粧ない」
妊婦の虫

(“Don’t take my picture!”)
(“I’m fat and have no make up.”)
(The pregnant insect)

W.T.F. Japan: Top 5 craziest Japanese certification exams 【Weird Top Five】

This week for my RocketNews24 W.T.F. Japan article, I wrote about the top five craziest Japanese certification exams.

When I worked as a Japanese tutor, I would often tell my students that Japan has a test for everything. They didn’t believe me when I told them about the “housewife certification exam,” so now was my chance to finally show them the hilarious truth!

Honestly, I’m not a fan of tests. A lot of my students expressed a desire to take the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Exam), but I advised against it. That may sound strange, hut here’s the truth: there’s nothing really to be gained from taking the test. Let’s say you pass Level 1… great! You’re exactly the same person with the same knowledge you were before you passed it! Let’s say you fail it instead… great! You’re still the same person!

I suppose the argument can be made that in studying for the exam you learned more about the subject, but most teachers agree that “teaching to the test” is horrible. I would have much preferred by students study manga, anime, books, or anything intended for native Japanese speakers, rather than the artificial Japanese created for the exam.

But hey, that’s just me. If you love tests, more power to you! Maybe you’ll find some great ones to take on this list.

Read the article here.

Photo & Haiku Friday: Cat Wall

Every Friday I like to commemorate a photo in Japan with a hot-out-the-oven haiku. I bribe my wife to add her own as well, so we can get as many interpretations as possible, and sometimes a Japanese one happens to float in off a gentle breeze of inspiration.

Last week we came up with lovely odes to a bear mug. Here’s this week’s photo, taken at Inuyama in Aichi prefecture:

02-inuyama-cats

My English haiku:
“Hey dawg what color
Are you gonna be today?”
“I think polka dot.”

Abbey’s English haiku:
Inuyama trip
Dogs everywhere sniffing butts
Even on the walls

My Japanese haiku:
2次元犬
1次元の列
3次元写真

(Two-dimensional dogs)
(In a one-dimensional line)
(A three-dimensional picture)